Sunday, February 17, 2008

Getting a nut...


It's been a while since our first pregnancy. My brotha' Dan (who still hasn't posted on this blog) recently found out that he and his wifey were expecting, my cuz'n Sean and his wifey Carol are expecting on Juneteenth 2008. My cuz'n-via-marriage J.J. is expecting. Must be somethin' in the kool-aid. I remember feeling so elated and so scared. All the dudes I've spoken to share similar feelings. So either I'm hanging with wimps, or this mix of feelings must be a truly shared experieince. Pregnancy truly seemed like something I wanted to avoid. Condoms prevented knock-ups, celibacy prevented knock-ups (right), I've heard so much "Don't get that girl pregnant !" talk when I was younger that it seemed to be the biggest thing-to-avoid on earth. I never wanted kids. I used to date very much older women who had adult children, didn't want children, or couldn't have children. The creator's plan involved me marrying a woman who wanted kids............ I couldn't find any way to get this woman out of my mind/life/future. I had to accept that I'd be a father at some point. My father has been a great pops (visit http://www.drivingmrdaddy.blogspot.com/) yet I felt the same demon-questions that many a man has faced. "Am I in the best position to have this kid ?", "Do I really want to be committied the rest of my life ?", "Am I ready to be a good dad ?", "Is this chic ever gonna' get her sexy-back after having this kid ?", "Have I done everything I've wanted to do ?", "Am I gonn'a turn into one of those fat slobby men after kids ?"..... I must admit, I really can't even post some of the questions we face, but we face them. I know smile warmly everytime I see a fellow-father. Without a concern for their level of involvement we all have something in common which is truly many things in common. I'm probably gonna' smack the next trick that asks me "Are you Dad or a sperm donor ?" It's one of the most rude questions I've ever heard but I'm starting to hear it more often as I speak publically about my kids. I have friends who have formed kids with chics who were probably good for a screw-ball, but are truly screwed up in the head. I feel for them. Nothing they do will be good enough for their baby-mama-drama or the families of the baby-mama-dramas and the kids are the ones loosing out. Some dudes are straight triffling...yet some of these baby-mama-dramas are the type of person I would never want to be involved with, and you have to have a relationship with the baby-mama-drama to have a relationship with the kids. I'm so glad I'm not in this situation. I have a prepared retort for the next male-basher who asks me politely or impolitely if I'm a respinsbile parent...."Did you become a mother to begin a family or to get a nut ?" Speaking of getting a nut, I got two of them. My kids are nuts...... They keep me laughing. My son recently earned his Karate yellow belt and duly informed me that he was a "Highly trained yellow belt."

1 comment:

Sean said...

As far as pregnancy and Fatherhood go, The first thing I have to say is that I am honored to say that Carol is having my baby.

I heard all the dont get her pregnant. Wear a condom, don't get burnt...

In the end, nothing makes me happier than the notion of my wife having our baby.

Motherhood is agreeing with her. She looks beautiful and I'm sure baby girl is going to be another Amazon-Varner-Woman.

I truly feel that I was meant to be a FAther. I have prayed for it and it fast approaches.

Am I scared? No. Am I apprehensive? There are moments.

I was worried when I couldn't feel the baby. Early on, Carol described her movements as 'flutters'. There is nothing like feeling her kick and punch. The first one we both felt and carol was sure of felt like "an energy punch" as Carol put it.

All of this is very exciting for me.

Truly, we are blessed