Knowing that I'd be out of town on Sunday the Wifey & Los Ninos got the jump pon' me. I was surprised this morning with Lil' Ones bearing gifts shouting Happy Father's Day ! To semi-quote Lil' Wayne...... "I'd say it was beautiful, but it was beyond that."I've noticed so many interesting things surrounding fatherhood recently. I was recently in a drug store that had Father's day cards. One stated "To my Mother, who has been both a Mother and a Father to me." Three days before that Drug Store visit the minister at a church we visit regularly discussed Fatherhood and a time described in the Holy Bible as a time when Men would turn their hearts to their children. The focus on this message was "Facing a Fatherless Culture." During this sermon the minister asked if anyone had ever heard a Pastor preach on this text, I rose my hands remembering that I heard 'The Minister Farrakhan' provide a moving message using that same text. As I surfed the net the Monday following church I found and listedn to some of Honorable Minster Farrakhan's speeches on Imeem.com . Interestingly enough I found that same Farrakhan speech where the Minister taught on the time when Men would turn their hearts to their children. That night I edited 2-Pac's classic "Dear Mama" for an upcoming Mother-Son dance at a wedding that I'm D.J.ing. Editing most of the original song I noticed how the whole second verse of the song is basically a statement of the anger that he had for his father: "All along I was looking for a Father who was gone." rhymes 2-Pac in this classic. The first verse is primarily about his (2-Pacs) screw-ups as a person. Luckily the third verse a sweet tribute to motherhood that any person could relate to. On that Tuesday a real estate client noted how his teacher-friend informed him of a 13 year old student that had climbed under a desk at his school sobbing that he hadn't heard from his Father in months and his mother doesn't spend time with him either. This child was reportedly being raised by his aunt's friend and was deeply angry towards his parents, especially his Father who once had custody of him as his Mother has never been a fit parent. This child reportedly simply couldn't understand how a man who raised him for years is now absent without an obvious reason.
As this client and I continued our conversation I overheard a woman complain that Fathers are never involved in children's lives. My client overheard the same and said "You should speak up for us." (as he also is Father). He then asked how many of my male friends were Fathers. We both noted that a majority of our male friends are very involved Fathers. we both agreed that too many Women have made decisions that have led them into Motherhood with Men that they were sexually attracted too but truthfully didn't expect much from. We both agreed that our kids were important to our growth as Men. We also both agreed that there are some B*#@h-@$$ed men out there. I painfully admitted that I have some in my family, I have a relative who takes great care of the children he birthed in his marriage but is extremely negligent towards the children he had with other Women prior to meeting his wife. These other Baby Mamas have given him loads of trouble, I understand that, but as some point I think that you have to be a Father no matter how screwed up the mothers can be or have been. Most of my friends who are great Dads have faced the Baby-Mama-Drama and fought for their kids. Most of these great Dads have taken these Baby-Mamas to court to fight for their Fatherhood position. All of the Fathers that I know who have chosen not to make their Fatherhood position legal turn out to be un-involved Punk-@##ed Fathers.
I've learned to be a involved Father one simply can't let anyone, Mother's included, or anything prevent them from being the type of Father that the children will benefit from. The Men who make that commitment evident in their actions can truly enjoy Father's Day. I've enjoyed Father's Day now for almost 9 years. It's been a blessed struggle. May we enter the time when all Fathers can say the same with their hearts turned towards their children.
Kofi (
